Who's in Control

Who's in control??? I know we all tend to think that we are in control of our own lives, but the truth is that we are not in control! I absolutely fall into the "we" category as I am a bit of a control freak! I tend to think that things just don't get done right unless I do them. This way of thinking has its problems...

First, it is a great way to become completely overwhelmed. I am definitely one to bite off more than I can chew. I also often want perfection, which tends to leave me running around in circles and never getting anything done. Second, it also leads to a life in which I am always missing out on the "journey" and focusing on the final outcome. My mom has always told me that "Life is a journey, not a destination." She is oh so right, whether I like to admit it or not. As much as I would like to deny it I find myself frequently not enjoying the moment. I find this to be especially true when it comes to my children. There are too many times that I am not "in" the moment with my kids. I am thinking about something with work or of all the things I need to do around the house, etc...and not focusing on my precious children. They are such a joy when I truly focus on them. Last, it is a great way to find yourself worrying about everything and anything! I try extremely hard to not worry in general. And I tend to do a pretty good job about those things that I can somewhat control. Although nothing is completely within my control (as much as I'd like that not to be the case) there are some things that we have a certain amount of control over. Those things I do not worry about. It's the things that I have absolutely no control over. It's the things like the health of my children and family, the economy, freak accidents, etc... Although I know how completely ridiculous this is, it does not seem to stop me from doing it. The things I have some control over for some reason seem to be easier for me to do what I can and turn them over to God to handle the rest (of course because he is the only other that could do them well :-). This is completely ridiculous I know.

So here is what I have decided. I have got to let go of being a control freak because it's driving me crazy! And in all reality, I am truly not in control of anything. God is the only one in control. So my resolution is this...from now on God is in control of everything in my life. I'm going to pray about it and let it gooooooooo! This way maybe I can stop being overwhelmed, stop missing out on the important moments in life and start enjoying the journey and stop worrying about the things that I can't control anyway! What a relief it is to just let it go!

Blessings!

I have so many things in my life to be thankful for! Sometimes it can be easy to see what is wrong in our lives and not notice all of the things we should be thankful for. I know this is true in my own life. The things that I focus on are always those that I feel need improvement and I fail to recognize the things that I do well. Doesn't it always seem that we are more critical of ourselves than anyone else is of us. I am going to try giving myself a break from now on. I am going to try to remember to count my blessings each day instead of focusing on the things I wish I did better!

My family is the biggest blessing in my life. I thank God on a daily basis for my wonderful husband and three incredible children. I definitely think that God gave me Jason to balance me out. I feel like he fills in my weaknesses perfectly with his strengths. I hope I do the same for him. I think that God meant for it to be that way. That somehow we can truly complete each other. And it is awesome the way that you can have three children and they can all be so different. You would think that they all came from Jason and I and that we raise them the same, so they would be similar. But that is just not the case. All three of our children are so completely different. Jackson is our sweet, tender hearted little teddy bear. Isabella is a tough as nails girly girl (I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but it's true). Sophia is the happiest baby I have ever seen. She always has a smile on her face and she is so easy going. I feel so lucky to be able to get to know these incredible little people and be a part of their lives. They teach me things every day (mostly patience)! I think that I learn more from my kids on a daily basis than they learn from me!

From this day forward, I am going to come up with at least one thing that I am thankful for each day. That is what it is really about!!!

Stay-At-Home Mom vs. Working Mom

Well, I decided today that it was time to start a blog. Honestly, I am not really sure why people blog, other than to just put what they are thinking out there for everyone to see! I am not sure that anyone cares what I think about anything but here goes! As you saw in my profile, I have been married for 8 years. I have three children and I work full time! I feel like my life never stops. Why I would add something else to my never ending list of things to do, I am really not sure! I will say that as a working mother of three I feel like I don't do anything well. I think this may be a common feeling among working mothers, and maybe even among stay-at-home moms? I wonder sometimes if no matter which path you choose you constantly question your decision? If you stay at home with your kids, do you miss the adult interaction that comes with working outside the home? Do you miss contributing to the income of your family and having "your own money"? I do believe that being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job out there and it is one for which you do not get paid or for that matter thanked very often, if at all. I honestly am not sure if I could do it.

But I will say that the part of me that thinks that the grass is always greener thinks it would be great! I would love to be able to pick my kids up from school everyday and take them to the park for a picnic or just to play on the playground. I would love to not have work on my mind when I am spending time with my kids. I feel like whenever I am with my kids I am thinking about work and when I am at work I am thinking about my kids. It is like being pulled in two different directions at all times. I wonder if it would be different if I did not work.

I wonder if my children will resent that fact that I worked when they get older? Will they think that I did not love them enough to sacrafice the adult interaction and mental stimulation that comes along with working outside the home? I pray they won't. I pray everyday that I show my kids just how much I love them and how much I cherish them. I think what it boils down to is that I wish there were about 10 more hours in each day. That way I could do it all. That way I could be "supermom" because isn't that what we all strive for? Some kind of perfection. And does that even exist? I wonder if stay-at-home moms feel like they are doing a good job when it comes to parenting? Do they feel like they are always completely focused on their kids and that they are always doing what is best for them? Maybe no matter which path you choose you always wish you did something differently. Hopefully one day I will know what it is like to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe then I will know the answers to these questions!